First night alone..

Well its official now, my husband is not even stateside anymore. He called me earlier in the evening to let me know he was on the East Coast, and would be flying to Europe in a few hours. I can't believe hes actually gone, I knew it'd happen I just wasn't ready for it yet. I didn't think it'd be as hard as it has been thus far. I know it'll get easier in the next couple of days, its just getting through the next couple of days that are going to be difficult. I'm glad I have friends around and online to help get us through this next few days. Alina realized earlier this evening that daddy wasn't coming home and she lost it. Poor thing. I wish there was a way to let her know and understand that daddy is only gone for a short time, he'll be back soon. She is so sweet though, I was crying earlier and she came over and hugged me. I'm glad I have her this time around, it'll make things so so so much easier, in a way at least. Here it is nearly 1 am and I'm still awake. I just don't want to go upstairs and realize the bed is empty. Its too hard and too depressing.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so depressing...I'll be fine in a couple of days, I just got to figure out how to cope with all of this.